| Brett Reviews Comedy Central's Con |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|09:59 am] |
Who is Skyler Stone? Well obviously he's a conman. Con is the new Comedy Central show, after South Park, which is basically about getting stuff for free.
So far there has been two episodes. Each episode he finds a problem, and develops an intricate con to get out of paying for it. In the pilot, he wanted to get a free makeover. He called several top-of-the-line salons asking them if they would like to shoot a reality show there. The reality show would be about a Homeless person getting a makeover. Then he went to the ghetto, to learn what how it feels to be homeless (learn the proper attire, attitude, etc). Next he went to McDonalds and popped his hood. He had EVERY major fast food restaurant cup underneath attached to it. While snagging a free drink, he was able to con a Limosuine company into giving him a free ride and in return advertise their name in the "show". He ended up getting pampered like a king at the salon, and he even made the employees cry there.
In the next episode he developed an idea to get out of cleaning his house. And it was a fucking mess. So he thought up a plan to get hott girls to clean up his whole house for 0. He posted an advertisment (hacking his neighbors internet of course) for models to come in for a Maxim-like shoot. In 1 day, he got several replies, and he set up interviews. He narrowed the women down to 3, and told them that they would be cleaning a house because "Men we're asked in a survey what the hottest thing that women do", cleaning of course being the answer. So he starts taking pictures and these girls are working their asses off. They were cleaning the chili from the microwave, wiping the toilent down, everything. They were even cleaning when he wasn't even in the fucking room. And in the end it was spotless.
Skyler Stone sounds completly natural while in-front-of the camera. Not like the employees of West Coast Customs in Pimp my Ride.
Guy 1: "We are going to put in a 47 inch montior in his car"
Guy 2: *looks at paper* "Cool, a 12 inch monitor"
Guy 1: "No, a 47 inch monitor"
Guy 2: *Looks Surprised*
This show is extremly funny at times as well. The only thing I really don't like about the show is that, at the end of the show, there was a disclaimer saying "Some of the phone calls we're renacted, Comedy Central reimbursed some of the expenses from this show" That kinds of pissed me off.
Anyway it still is a pretty good show. Definetly worth watching an episode to see if you like it or not.
I give it a
B |
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| Brett reviews Capri Sun Juicers |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|06:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
A few weeks ago while doing go backs at my place of work, I noticed in the corner of my eye these Caprisun Juices. Nifty I thought, Caprisun-like Gushers. I have to try these. Corey brought some in today at lunch. So I decided to buy them for myself.
The box art alone causes me to prose a few questions. Do apples and raspberries really float? Is the sun made out of vitamin C? And why is the "juicer" ejaculating? On the back of the box it says "Capri Sun Juicers give you a burst of fruity flavor in the center of every delicious piece for a won of a kind Capri Sun experience!!!" I don't think I've ever gotten more excited about eating something after reading the classic "back of the box" dialogue. It also talks about the Capri Sun Fruit Rolls and it says "Unroll the cool". Obviously they didn't but much thought into it. Clearly you're tempted to say "unrule the cool." which I wouldn't doubt that they we're thinking that at the time.
I open the box up and immediatly recognize that the juicers are wrapped in PLASTIC instead of Paper,like Gushers. I open the package and immedietly a strong pleasant aroma erupts from the packaging.
They are chalky pentagonal prisms with a red sphere in the center. How the hell are the bitches at Nabisco able to create such a mathematical masterpiece. They probably even used Phi, to make it proportional with nature.
I bite into it. The second I chomp into its epicenter my taste buds are greeted by a wave of Mountain Cooler flavoring. It's similar Liquid Ice, but a lot more liquidy.
These things are really good. They cost 20 cents less than Gushers, aren't squashed together like Gushers, and TASTE better than Gushers. and I thought Gushers where the king of all fruit snacks...TAKE THAT FRUIT ROLL UP.
I strongly recommended this product. Go buy it.
I rate this an
A</h2> |
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| Top 10 fifth grade anthems (1999-2000) |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|08:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
Let's face it, we thought we we're the biggest bad asses at school when we're in 5th grade...and we were. The only kid that even came close to our coolness was Chou Ming, the 3rd grade yoyo enthusiast. But let's face it, we listened to some bad music.
The following is the list of the top 10 songs of 5th grade. It's not oponion, it's fact.
10. That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain
I hate this song so much. The vocal interlude before the chorus are so retarded "so you've got a car". I HOPE YOU HAVE A FUCKING CAR IF YOU ASK SHANIA "IRENE" TWAIN OUT.
9. Bawitaba - Kid Rock
This was probably Kid Rock's only half decent song ever. It appealed to us because we got to speak fucking gibberish for a good 2 minutes plus.
8. Bye Bye Bye - Nsync
This song would be ranked higher, BUT, it came out only a month before school was out. Everyone bought this CD though. Even the fat DUFF who listened to Savage Garden 14 hours of her lonely day, bought it a good 6 times.
7. No Scrubs - TLC
Every bitchy girl would cheerfully sing this, thinking that they are "too good" for guys when they didn't even have boobies.
6. Blue (Ba Da ba dee) - Eiffel 65
You thought you were such a hard ass when you substituted the "ba da de ba da da's" with "If I was green I would die".
5. I Want it That Way - Back Street Boys
One of the more average songs by BSB. You remember the video though. It was epic in a sense. With all the DUFFS holding posters saying how much they loved Howie, when they all really wanted to have a Brian or Nick one.
4. Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
Sex for the ears. Seriously, what the hell we're we doing singing this song. but its in Spanish so its OK if we are talking about sexual escapades with a seniorita muy loca.
3. Mambo Number 5 - Lou Bega
You didn't need to know the words to sign this song. All you did was say "a little bit of [insert female name of Hispanic Origin] + [in some specific place]
2. Smooth - Santana featuring Rob Thomas
My teacher played this song until I wanted to hang myself. Shit, I wouldn't be suprised if she played it softly to the background of Pokemon (which we watched every friday).
1. All Star - Smash Mouth
Hey now, this is the end of the list, and I swear I must've heard "All Star" 297578 times on field day alone. My favorite line "so much to do, so much to see so what's wrong with taking the back streets". Considering this song appeals primarily to the 7-12 year old demographic, taking the "back streets" = getting gangbanged. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|08:00 pm] |
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New Energy drinks have been popping up like crazy ever since the introduction of Red Bell a few years back. The Energy Drink market is now a 1 billion dollar industy. So of course Coke has gone on board with the craze and created an energy drink of their own.
I was talking to an employee, whom had noticed I had consumed a lot of energy drinks. She told me "You should try the new Full Throttle drink. It tastes like Mountain Dew. It's So Good LOL!" Faster than you can say Poliwrath, I had purchased it.
This energy drink looks like it came from the depths of hell and came back to kick your internal ass and give you a much needed whippin/energy boost. But does it taste good?
I opened it up, longfully yearning for the contents inside. My heart fluttered at the possibile flavor. I sipped it. Swished it around my mouth. I noticed the slight hint of Mountain Dew my employee was talking about. She didn't tell me that 93% of it tasted like dirt. There is also a tad bit of coke flavoring. Now there's only so many ways I can say "Shit in a can." Hell in a bottle? Liquid crap? You get the picture. I drank the whole fucking thing. Why, because I'm kinda retarded. yeah, it's not good. I wouldn't be suprised if all that dirt clogged my small intestine.
I rate this a
F |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|07:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
The intent of this LJ is to rate, review, and list certain things such as but not limited to: food, soft drinks, movies, sitcoms, music, video games, etc. I will continue to write in my previous journal, which will just be my daily "I got a B on my McDougald quiz, math graphs are hell, life sucks" slander you've all grown to love. |
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